Mel Robbins wrote a book about the “Let Them Theory” and I have to admit that this theory speaks volumes to me! It is basically about how to stop letting other people’s opinions, drama, action and judgement impact your life. It’s very freeing and helpful, especially trying to leave toxicity out of your life!

Here is an example of just how I finally came to the conclusion and closure to omit toxic family members out of my life. I had done it before for quite a few years, but somehow I got sucked back into it when mom was in the nursing home and was becoming older and sicker.

Just a couple of days before Thanksgiving, I received a group text stating my mother’s Internment Service would be held on December 2, 2025 in Rochester, NY. I had to ask my sister several times: is this Mom’s funeral? Is this Mom’s memorial service? And when she finally replied that it was, she also had the audacity that she didn’t think I would be interested.

My sister and I have had animoisity over the years, but this was the last straw. No one bothered to ask if the date was okay, it wasn’t. All of my daughters, and myself own our own businesses. We cannot just leave, with not even a 2 week notice and fly into Rochester, NY. One daughter lives in Florida. Another in Rochester, she owns and runs a gymnastics gym and my 3rd daughter lives in Ohio working for herself. It was supposed to be a family affair, where we would all get together via phone and plan, so I thought.

My brother mailed mom’s ashes to my sister and she made the decisions that would leave me and my entire family out. Looking back, I am glad things worked out this way. It helped me find the closure I needed to get all of this family toxicity out of my life, for good. The girls, their husbands, Mark and I will gather for our own special goodbye to Mom. They all loved their grandmother deeply.

My life is so good and right now. Everyone is healthy, doing well in life and I live in the most beautiful place in America. My heart is full in a way it never was before!

So, if any of you are worried on the outcome of getting rid of toxicity in your family, do what I did. Imagine the next few years of no drama, no trying to please anyone/everyone and definitely no head games to think on. If you make the decision to ‘Let them’ and you just “let go and let God” life will become as beautiful as you want it! I can honestly say that by living my life with those who matter and care just as much as I do about them, is a really beautiful thing!